I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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