i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
