I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize