Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
