dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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