you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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