Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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