It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
