so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
