My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
my sisters under your porch take her home
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
