The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
