I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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