We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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