Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize