Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
