You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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