I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
