I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
