I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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