I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
