She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
