Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
