Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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