in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
