best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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