HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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