I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you mean i was at the winter classic?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
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