Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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