This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
