What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
