Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
