Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Randomize
