On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
