Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
