Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize