im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
