mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Dear god my vagina.
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