dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
