hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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