How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
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