She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Randomize
