Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
