Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
