Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
