Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
