hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
