talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
