Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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