May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
