Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
