I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
