What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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