So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
