I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize