Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
