Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
