She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
