No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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