I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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