You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
