I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
