the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
