I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just puked most of my soul out..
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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